Tangents, vol 1 Read online

  “No, thank you, I’ve already eaten,” she replied.

  “Ah, yes, I can see you’re drinking coffee; you never do that on an empty stomach.”

  Anna nodded in a “there you go” gesture and got back to surfing the Internet.

  “What’s happening around the world?” Tom asked.

  “I don’t really know, I’ve been trying to see how people are doing, but first I somehow need to get through like a ton of kitten pictures posted by my friend, Betty.”

  Anna looked at Tom, “She’s the proud mother of a 3-month-old Scotch and her wall is flooded with photos of Scotch sitting on the table, Scotch drinking water from the faucet, Scotch looking up, Scotch looking down, Scotch playing with a feather, Scotch walking into the living room, Scotch walking out of the storage, and Scotch licking his balls – my God, she’s bananas with this cat.” Anna kept on scrolling.

  “You don’t seem to be too happy you’ve become Scotch’s godmother, do you?” Tom smiled.

  “No, not really. I’m so allergic to cats that by just looking at these photos I can literally feel my eyes are getting swollen.”

  “Any new groups this year?”

  “Yeah, Heather’s students.”

  “What time are you finishing?”

  “4:00 p.m.”

  “How about getting a drink after work?”

  “Tom,” Anna paused as she looked at him while closing her computer.

  “The whole faculty is going.”

  “Oh,” Anna replied. “I don’t know, I’ll think about it.”

  Tom Miller was a French literature teacher who used to try his best to make Anna look at him in a different way than a colleague. At first, it was even sweet, he had been really charming, a gentleman, someone who would always joke with her, bring her coffee, and make sure she wasn’t coming back home alone late in the evening. It had been going on for some time, making Anna feel flattered at first, but soon it felt awkward. Tom had never been pushy or intrusive, but Anna was more than sure she wasn’t interested in him in any other way than as a colleague she might drink beer with among people from work and exchange some student anecdotes with. He wasn’t her type, she felt absolutely no physical attraction toward him and, as charming as he was, it simply felt more like having a brother around, rather than a potential boyfriend.

  Apparently, the status quo between them started to finally bug him at some point as one night, four months earlier, on the verge of summer holidays, when he was driving her home, he tried to kiss her. Anna had an awkward feeling that particular evening that it might not have been the best idea to get into the car with Tom, but the weather was awful with heavy showers banging on the windows all day long and her own car was at the garage; it needed its braking system to be taken care of. When Tom parked his Ford Taurus, painted in characteristic, very deep, blood-like red, next to the building where she was renting her apartment, he looked at her in such way that Anna immediately knew what was about to happen.

  “So, um, it’s been raining like hell today, huh?” Tom said smiling at her. He turned the ignition key and the car went silent. Big drops of rain were banging on the car leaving water blots on the windshield and filling the air with a soothing swoosh.

  “Yeah, pretty crazy,” Anna smiled back, but she felt she wanted to get out of the car as quick as possible. She knew, however, that the time had come to let Tom know she wasn’t planning on expanding their friendship, on changing its rules. To be honest, she thought she should have told him all that much sooner, but, first of all, she didn’t want to break his heart, and secondly, well, it felt nice having someone who adored her. Anna kept on telling herself that every woman being in her place would have acted the same.

  “Listen, Anna,” Tom said softly, there was no trace of the smile on his face anymore. “I’ve been thinking –“

  Oh my God, she thought. Here it comes.

  “I – like you. I like you a lot. I think you’re a funny, intelligent, incredibly attractive woman, and,” he continued and put his hand gently on her knee, “I’ve been thinking that perhaps we might – we might try…” He leaned toward for a kiss.

  “Tom, stop.”

  He opened his eyes, and look into her gaze.

  “Tom, I like you, too, but I think things have gone a bit too far.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I am sorry if I gave you an impression that I was interested in you in a different way than as a good friend from work,” Anna was saying it very quietly, apologetically. She felt really bad about all that, especially when she saw the disappointment in his eyes.

  “No, no, it’s okay, I understand,” he said quietly and looked ahead to the street.

  “Tom, you’re a great guy, but this – this just won’t work like that. I’m sorry.”

  Tom sighed and waved his hand in an “it’s all right” gesture, doing his best to look blithe.

  “I’m sorry, I really am.”

  “No, really, I get it. Just,” he said, then looked at her and stopped.

  “Just what? What is it?” She asked quietly.

  “Just tell me why, tell me what did I do wrong?”

  “Oh Tom, nothing, it wasn’t anything you did. Like I said, you’re a sweet guy, I’ve always felt good around you, but I’m just not looking for a relationship now,” Anna took his palm which he still had on his lap and delicately put it on his thigh.

  “Well, you know I’ve cared for you for some time, don’t you?”

  “Y – yes.”

  “How long have you known you weren’t interested in a relationship?”

  Anna had no idea what to say. From the beginning, that was the true answer, but it wasn’t something that she wanted to tell him.

  “Oh, I get it. I understand,” Tom finally said and sighed. “Well, I think I better go now.”

  “Tom –“

  “It’s okay. Goodnight, Anna, see you tomorrow.”

  She nodded and walked outside. Water was splashing under her feet, and she was soaked within seconds. Finally, Anna hid herself under a small staircase roof and looked behind. Tom’s car was still on the other side of the street. She couldn’t see him, but had a feeling he was looking at her. Anna took the key out of her purse and walked into the building. Once inside, she looked out one of the side windows and, relieved, noticed the Taurus leaving.

  When Anna came back to work the next day, Tom acted as if nothing really happened. At first, Anna was happy, she was worried the atmosphere at work might have become difficult, but to her surprise, Tom seemed to have been fine. Then, Anna thought that perhaps Tom did not really take her seriously, hence his good mood. That second thought made her a bit tense, but, fortunately, she was so busy that day, she didn’t really have much time in the teachers’ lounge.

  Tom never asked her again about that night. As time went by, he distanced himself from her, which Anna thought was good. It felt kind of strange not to talk with him as much as they used to, but it seemed like a healthy progress. After the teachers’ end of the academic year party, Anna did not see Tom at all until the beginning of September. The conversation about Scotch was, in fact, one of the very first ones they had had in four months.

  There were other people in the lounge. It was a break between the classes and a lot of teachers came to the room to either have a second breakfast, prepare the equipment for their next classes or check their notes. After work, people were going for a beer, or two, to discuss their new students, talk about their vacations, and exchange family updates. It was the very first post-work meeting they were about to have in months, everybody was really excited about it.

  Anna looked at the clock on the wall as it was time to go. She was about to start the very first of Heather’s lectures, so she glanced one last time at her notes, zipped the bag with the notepad in it, took her coffee and went to the auditorium.

  II

  The auditorium was one of the smaller ones, it was designed for not more than fifty to sixty students.
Everybody was already sitting inside when Anna came in. Twenty-three people.

  “Good morning!” She said friendly and people responded.

  “What is that muffling sound? Come on people, it’s almost ten o’clock am, if you don’t wake up now, when will you?” Anna laughed and started clapping to wake up the students. It helped some of them to open their eyes a bit wider.

  “Good morning!” Anna said one more time, smiling.

  “Good morning!” They replied much louder than the first time.

  “There you go, much better,” Anna said. “Now, before we start, I’d like to ask you to come closer to me. I can promise you I don’t bite, there’s absolutely no reason for you to sit so far away from me,” she pointed at the back rows. “There’s also no reason for me to strain my voice, come on,” she beckoned them. The students lazily got up and started walking down the stairs to take the seats closest to Anna.

  She turned around, took a piece of chalk and wrote down her name and e-mail address on the board.

  “My name’s Anna Fielding, I will be filling in for Ms. Heather Michaels during this year. The topic of our discussion is going to be,” she spoke and started writing again, “The Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters.” She turned around and smiled, “How cool is that?” Some of the faces smiled back at her, and Anna looked at them more attentively than a few minutes ago. She loved those first few moments with a new group, the exciting process of meeting new people, of discovering their interests, and their plans. There were far more girls than boys in the audience, which was not surprising as it was a very common situation for literature lectures.

  “What authors among the laureates of the Medal can you think of?”

  John Updike, Toni Morrison, Philip Roth, Arthur Miller, Tom Wolfe, Adrienne Rich, Stephen King – the students were enlisting the names.

  “Right, yes, good answers,” Anna nodded, put the chalk away, leaned on her desk, facing the students, and put her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

  “Have you read any of the authors’ books? Do you have any favorite ones? Or perhaps some of them you don’t like?”

  People started enlisting the novels they enjoyed and, what made Anna particularly happy, the discussion started. Everyone, including her, were talking about their favorite authors and books, listing out the laureates they appreciated more, and the ones they liked less. She was attentively listening to what the students were saying, feeling glad that the people in the group seemed to be truly interested in literature and definitely had something to say about it.

  At one point, Anna realized there was someone in the group who was looking at her. He was sitting a bit behind, scribbling something in his notebook, observing the group.

  “How about you, do you have any favorites among the Medal laureates?” Anna asked a bit louder to make sure he would hear her and pointed at him. The student looked directly at her and Anna thought he had the most incredibly green eyes. She had never seen such an eye-color before.

  “Me?” He asked, smiling.

  “Yes, I can tell you don’t seem to be too invested in the discussion here, so I wanted to ask you directly,” Anna said friendly.

  “Well,” the student sighed. “I mostly enjoy literature dealing with intertwining cultures, fact, and documentary books, so I’m not sure if I can really say anything.”

  “Maxine Hong Kingston,” a girl sitting in front of Anna said and looked back at the student.

  “Excuse me?” He asked not being sure of either what she said or if she was in fact speaking to him.

  “Maxine Hong Kingston is an author of several works concerning the experiences of Chinese immigrants living in America.”

  “Oh,” the student said a bit surprised. “Okay then, I’ll check it out, thanks.” He replied and waved his hand in a gesture of appreciation.

  “Well,” Anna said, “during the lectures I would like all of you to participate in discussion, to be familiar with the novels we are going to analyze, so make sure you read them all,” Anna added and started giving away a list with novels required to be read during the coming months. While people were getting familiar with it, Anna looked at them again, and realized she was glancing at the green-eyed student. There was something about him, about his eyes that made her want to look into them…

  She realized people started packing their backpacks and looked at her watch. They still had about twenty minutes.

  “No, no, no, my dears, you’re not leaving yet. We still have some time, I’d like you to tell me something about yourselves. Who you are, what your names are, why you are attending this course. Maybe we’ll start with you,” Anna pointed to a girl sitting in the first row, exactly opposite to her.

  “Well, my name’s Joanna, I’m attending this course because literature is my hobby. I am hoping to become a literary agent or start an agency, or a publishing house one day, so I want to learn as much about literature as possible, to know how to approach it.”

  “Nice to meet you. Who’s next, Joanna?”

  Joanna looked around the room and pointed at a boy sitting at the other side of the auditorium.

  “I’m Luke, I’m here to have a chance to read something interesting and to get familiar with some really great authors. I’m here as an auditor.”

  “Hello. Who’s next, Luke?”

  About ten other people introduced themselves, most of them pointing out their interests in literature, writing, reading and publishing. Finally, the green-eyed student was given an opportunity to say something.

  “I’m Brian and I’m here because I confused timetables,” he said honestly. People started laughing and Brian was just sitting there smiling with a “guilty as charged” face.

  “Oh you did,” Anna laughed, too. “What were you expecting to attend?”

  “A lecture on cross-cultural communication, which, as I can see now,” he unfolded a piece of paper, “will be held tomorrow at exactly the same time and place. My bad.”

  “Well, could you still tell us something about you, anyway?” Anna said.

  “Sure. I’m Brian, I live here in Boston and I’m all into cultural and social anthropology, but this whole literature thing might just turn out interesting, too.”

  “Well, give us a chance,” Anna replied friendly. “So, who’s next, Brian?”

  Everybody managed to introduce themselves and the lecture was over. Anna told everyone what she expected them to prepare for their next meeting and was packing her things from the desk when Brian came to her.

  “Hello.”

  “Hello, Brian. Are you sure you know where your next classes are?” Anna asked.

  “Yep, I even know what they are,” Brian answered smiling.

  She looked up at him and felt she was once more mesmerized by his eyes. They were astonishing.

  “So, I’ve been meaning to ask you if it was okay for me to appear here once in a while?”

  “Of course, it’s an open course, everyone can come.”

  “Okay, I will then. It’s been a pleasure to meet you,” Brian said and reached out his hand.

  “Oh, likewise,” Anna replied and shook his hand. “See you around.”

  “Bye.”

  Anna was discretely watching him leave. Brian had brown hair, the kind that curls itself, he looked neat wearing a polo t-shirt, dark, royal blue jeans and a cardigan. It seemed pretty obvious he paid attention to his looks. Anna briefly wondered how old he was, she assumed he wasn’t older than twenty-one, perhaps, twenty-two. She smiled delicately, embarrassed by her own thoughts.

  ***

  The rest of the day went pretty smoothly. Anna had two more lectures and once the job was over, she got home, changed clothes and headed down to the bar that most of the faculty teachers were supposed to celebrate the beginning of the new academic year. When she got there, most of the staff were already there, sitting by the table, drinking beers, laughing. Anna bought herself a Corona and came to her colleagues. The day at work was so busy
, she did not even have a chance to see everyone, not to mention catching up after the summer, so the meeting was a really good idea.

  There were twelve people in the bar, all of them from the literature faculty. People were laughing, showing summertime pictures, talking about their first classes they had that day and exchanging some anecdotes about students.

  The moment Tom saw Anna, he immediately sat next to her.

  “How was your first day?” He asked while eating peanuts.

  “It was okay. I had a student who came to my lecture by mistake,” Anna replied drinking her beer.

  “Oh really? What did he confuse it with?”

  “He did not confuse my lecture with anything, Tom, he confused the days on the timetables. Was interested in cross-cultural things.”

  “Oh well, the rookie’s mistake, maybe.”

  I don’t think he is a freshman, Anna thought.

  “Yeah, but he asked me if he could attend my lectures anyway, guess he liked it. I mean, can you blame him?” Anna winked.

  “Ha, ha, no, of course not,” Tom laughed and finished his beer. “Just a second,” he said showing her the empty bottle, got up to get himself a new one and came back.

  Another teacher, Mark Hampton, sat with them and they were all discussing summer holidays. Anna told them she had spent summer researching libraries in search of her PhD thesis material, nothing particularly interesting. Mark told them about his family holidays in Mexico, and Tom said he traveled around France, a trip he was saving for for some time and was very happy he finally managed to go there. The get-together was very pleasant, there was a lot of laughter and jokes, it was a really nice way of ending the day. When Anna came back home late at night, the very last thing she thought of before going to sleep were Brian’s green eyes, and that she had a feeling, a very timid one, that there was something special about the way he looked at her. Or maybe it was only her imagination.